Praying

We are praying very, very hard about a possible adoption situation. One of the coworker knows someone who is possibly thinking about maybe placing their baby for adoption situations. She is only 16 weeks along, and a lot can happen before her April due date, so it is by no means a sure thing. We haven't even spoken to her. But, we are praying. We are praying for this young woman and for her unborn child. There are drugs involved, so prayer is especially needed. The Lord has already intervened once and saved this baby, so I feel so strongly that He will protect this child from the drugs. Some Bible verses have come to me while I have been praying that I wanted to share:

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" (Jer. 29:11)

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together inside my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." (Ps. 139:13-16)

God is so amazing, and I KNOW He has a wonderful and marvelous plan for this tiny little baby. I just don't know if that plan includes being a member of our family or not.

Please pray for this baby and for Baby B. to find us in God's perfect timing.

Three in One Month

Derek has had three different coworkers approach him about three possible adoption situations in the last month. We have to wonder what the Lord is up to. He is definately wanting us to know He is in control and working behind the scenes. I am so glad He is, because I could have never in my wildest dreams imagined the blessings found through adoption and Faith. We don't know what, if anything will come from this, but it is all very exciting.

Tonight, we ordered Chinese for dinner and our fortune cookies were:

"It is wise to prepare for the unexpected."

"Change is coming your way."

Hmmm....keep us in your prayers!

I'm a Pioneer Woman Wanna-Be...

I live in the city...granted, a small, small city, but a city nonetheless. I want to live in the country. Not out in the boonies, but in a I-don't-have-to-worry-about-robbers-and-I-can-actually-see-the-stars country. I have been drawn towards living a much simpler lifestyle since we had Faith. I want the focus of our lives to be on things that matter. I want the kids to grow up exploring the woods, spending hours creating imaginary kingdoms on their outside play fort, eating dinner as a family every night, star-gazing on warm summer nights.

I want the kids to know that eggs come from chickens, not the store. I want part of our food to come from our very own garden (This may be tricky, as plants scream in terror when they see me coming.). I want Christmas to be focused on the 'Reason for the Season' not on buying, buying, buying. I want the kids to get up in the morning and help collect eggs from the hen house and feed The Mini's (I dream of having a farm with miniature farm animals). I want to look back at our lives and know that we did the very best job possible...as parents and as spouses. And, I guess part of what embodies that for me, is living on a farm.

Now, we've already started simplifying our lives. We don't spend outside of our means, and that means that we don't have any credit card debt. We do occasionally do financing same as cash, but we always pay it off before the end period, so we don't have any interest payments. There is long term success in this lifestyle, but sometimes it is so hard to see the "world" living outside of their means and having so much more.

Another area we have simplified is our t.v. watching. Faith and I don't watch much, if any, television during the day. We listen to music instead (toddler tunes, Christian, classical, etc). After she goes to bed, Derek and I watch our favorite recorded shows. My goal, is to keep cutting down the amount of tv that we watch. This would free us up to spend more quality time together, and to focus more on God (through reading and Bible studies).

But, I want more. I want to live in the country. I want to raise some farm animals (chickens, ponies, mini donkeys, mini sheep, mini cows, mini goats, and a full size horse). I want to cook semi-homemade meals, and do lots of baking. I want our bread to come from my oven (actually my bread machine). I want the children to be the closest of siblings (granted there will be fights). I want to have the ability to pursue my interests and hobbies in life...learning to play the piano, learning to sew, digital scrapbooking and photography, reading and writing. I want life to be sweet and simple, but oh so filled.

Derek is not quite convinced of my plans to move us to the country. He's declared that he will not make his own butter, but apparently eating farm fresh eggs is acceptable. I'll get my way...he always blesses me with the desires of my heart. Isn't that what good husbands do?

My Blogs of Inspiration:

Pioneer Woman

Chickens in the Road

My Simpler Life

Scrumptious Living

Do you have any other suggestions? I'd LOVE for you to post them in the comments section.

We're Moving in a Direction...

Adoption direction that is. The Lord is moving and we are faithfully (although somewhat nervously) following. It's kind of like we were on a really great hiking path. The views are amazing, the trail is easy but oh so rewarding, and if you had a choice, you'd pick that exact same hiking path again and again. You return for a second hike and you think you're going to take that exact same path...that you want to take that exact same path, but your tour guide decides to veer off onto a whole other trail. You feel like hold on a minute....I wanted to go on the trail I'm familiar with. You feel uncertain because you don't know where this path leads and you KNOW where the other one does. But, you follow your tour guide anyway, because he didn't lead you wrong when he suggested the first path.

That's what this second adoption journey is turning into. We thought we had it all figured out, but apparently we know nothing. We thought we'd use the same agency as before, now we are thinking (about 99.99% sure) we're going to use a consultant instead. We thought we'd adopt instate again. Now, we both feel very strongly that our second baby is not in Wisconsin. We thought we had a grasp on the finances. Not only does every little bit we manage to save seem to get sucked up by some emergency or great need, but this adoption looks like it will be about 25 percent MORE expensive.

It's kind of scary, but God keeps whispering to me that HE is in control and he's slowly starting to show me. A few months ago, I posted about a dream that I had. In that dream, we had a little baby girl who was about two years younger than Faith. The next night, I dreamed that we had that same little girl and a new baby who was about two years younger than baby number 2. I believe wholeheartedly that was a vision from the Lord. I believe that we will be blessed by the adoption of not one, but two more little girls.

A few weeks ago, Derek came home and told me about a coworker who approached him. She knows a couple who are expecting twin girls and are thinking about adoption. This coworker knew we had adopted and was curious if we were planning on adopting again. Derek said yes, and she said that she would pass our info along to this couple. Now, it doesn't seem like it's going to go somewhere as far as us adopting these girls, but it was pretty exciting and uplifting to see how God is always working in the background, even though you are unaware of what He is doing.

Then, He gave me peace about a fertility issue. I wax and wane on this issue, but lately it had again emerged as a struggle. Every month, as my period draws near, I have become anxious about whether or not I could be pregnant. Since my cycles are not regular, it's not unusual for me to be "late." This had just driven me into such a state, every month I was right back to feeling such disappointment. Well, recently God spoke to my heart and He asked me why I was feeling anxious about this when He told me (and I believed so firmly) that our next two children would be joining our family through adoption. It was like a light bulb went off in my head and I felt (and have felt since then) such a since of relief about the issue (Don't you wish God would just lay everything out for you? I sure do.).

So, a few months ago, I called our agency from adoption #1 and put ourselves on the waiting list to start classes in January. While we've been waiting, I've been doing a ton of research on funding this next adoption. It's not that we're not able to financially raise a child, it's just that we do not have $$$$$ in cash. Who does, right? Well, I've been researching grants and loans. Derek's job finally, after years of people asking for it, as offered an adoption assistance of $5,000 per child (up to two children) per year. That is a huge blessing, because although we still have to front that $$ we know we will be getting all of it back right away (unlike the tax credit, which is reimbursed over the course of 5 years).

Well, while I was researching and we are waiting, I had started to research agencies in other states. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could adopt in a state with TPR (termination of parental rights) that occurred in 24-72 hours. In WI it's a mandatory 30 days, and ours took almost 60! That's a long time to feel in limbo and grow attached to a baby who could potentially leave your family.

Anyway, I started to have a growing feeling that our baby wasn't in Wisconsin. I looked at a ton of agencies, but nothing felt just right. I started talking to Derek about adopting out of state. To be honest, not using our perfectly good agency that we are very familiar with is a little scary. But, this feeling wouldn't go away.

One day, while researching adoption stuff I came across a relatively new business. This husband and wife recently (w/i the last year) started an adoption consultant (not to be confused with an adoption facilitator) call Faithful Adoption Consultants. I read their facebook page, blog, website. I even Googled the husband and wife. And you know what? I really liked what I saw. I talked about it with Derek and cyberly stalked this business (in a very noncreepy way), and just felt such a need to connect with them. I e-mailed and asked a lot of questions, and had a one-hour phone consultation. Turns out that I have a lot in common with the wife, who even shares my passion for dog rescue (anyone with a soft spot for dogs in need is gold in my eyes). I've e-mailed this poor woman until the point of she's probably sick of seeing me in her inbox asking her questions. But, it's because I really feel like this is the ONE. The one who will help us connect with our child. Derek's leaning this way too.

It's pretty exciting times in our household, but also pretty scary too. We're moving into new and uncharted waters. I have such a peace about it, but change is still scary. We're praying fervently that God would work the finances for us. I know He will, but I'm hoping that we can KNOW it ahead of time.

Keep us in your thoughts and I'll keep you posted.

Busy, Busy

I can't believe my last post was in August. Life is just so busy! Who knew that toddlers keep you on your toes. Today, I was on the phone and Faith got a hold of a paper towel tube that had that last piece of paper towel on it...the glued on piece. She was content, and I needed a few minutes to have my phone conversation (dog rescue stuff), so I let her have it. I now have a floor litered with confeti sized paper towel, but she had a good time, and I got to have my conversation :-) Now I must get the vacuum out, though. Plus, my other excuse for not blogging as much is that I have two blogs to maintain. This one, and Faith's birthparents. I'm really good at keeping theirs up to date, but slack on this one. I have pictures coming soon!

God's Amazing Provisions

We have been praying that God would provide the finances for our next adoption. See, we've officially decided to pursue another newborn, transracial adoption. We attended an information session about adopting from the state, and we both agreed that was not the right path for our family right now...perhaps down the road.

I think we both wanted to pursue another domestic adoption from the start, but for whatever reason, the finances seem more of a mountain to cross than a small hill. I think it's because we used our fall back plan last time (we took out a home equity loan, because things moved so fast). We're still paying on that loan, and it isn't an option this time. Last time, I barely blinked an eye at the finances, so secure was I in God's provision of the money. But, this time, I don't know...it just seems more of an obstacle.

But, we've committed to building our family again this way, and have decided to give over the reigns to the Lord. We both really feel that this path is God's will for our family. So, we've been praying for God's provision....A LOT. I have also been reading about God's financial provisions for other families who have adopted. These stories are all amazing. God has provided families with all of their financial needs as they walked the road of adopting their child. And, along the way, I found that the theme of teaching from the Lord has been trust. It takes a lot to trust an invisible, Almighty being to provide for something that you want so badly. But, if you are willing to take that leap of faith, He does provide.

Now, we are starting to see God answering our prayers. I almost missed it for what it was. Earlier this week, Derek cam home and announced that his coworker's daughter had her baby on Friday...a little boy. She will be returning to work in six weeks, and they wanted to know if I would be interested in watching him. I told Derek to let me think on it, and went about my chores and what not.

Later that night, as I mulled on it, and did some financial calculations, I realized that opportunity to babysit (two days a week, a cute, little baby...my favorite kind of babysitting) would provide us with a nice piece of change that we could put towards our homestudy. It won't cover all of it by the time we want to start, but it is a fabulous babystep. I don't know if this babysitting opportunity will end up working out, but it was such a comfort to realize that God is and will put into motion the things needed to allow us to pursue our next child joining our family.

God is truly awesome!

Faith